No life is without suffering. I’m sure you’re not surprised by this statement. It seems reasonable until you consider living with this understanding.
When disappointment, change, and loss happen in our life, it doesn’t help to try to get rid of uncomfortable feelings. Are we really expecting to get to a point where we’ve eradicated all experiences of suffering? Adding more struggle (suffering) to our experience usually only makes things worse. Denying our own suffering is a form of self-aggression.
What does help is learning ways to face experiences without aggression, deception, or shutting down: honestly, softly, and directly.
I believe that a helpful mission for being a human being – in this short, precious life – is to explore our triggers, the things that catch us and make us lash out or hunker down. Become more self-aware and honest, along with increasingly sympathetic to ourselves.
That is an important starting point for being open to whatever happens. It’s a rich way to live, when we can keep our hearts open, rather than following predictable, painful patterns when the ground gets pulled out from under us.