The article in today’s Huffington Post on Divorce Causes: 6 Marriage Mistakes to Avoid is useful for summarizing some common landmines of marriage. It’s addressed to women in heterosexual relationships, but it’s probably pretty generalizable.
While the mistakes don’t have to lead to divorce, they certainly don’t make things any easier:
- badmouthing your husband to your girlfriends
- not knowing how to talk to men in marriage
- thinking your husband has to change in order for you to be happy
- living parallel lives, thus growing apart over time
- expecting the worst from your husband
- having a sense of entitlement
I found the article refreshing in thinking of my own 12-year-old marriage, which sometimes displays qualities of a clueless adolescent. I certainly have room for improvement. (Yes, even marriage and family therapists can have challenging relationships. If your therapist doesn’t admit to being imperfect, I would be concerned…)
The advice to work on yourself is always timely: a mature relationship depends on your working on your own happiness, without neglecting the relationship.